Having a dad with PTSD

"As a 10-year-old girl I was desperate to have my daddy at the playground, for him to be a proud dad on sports day or during county rounders matches. Instead I often found him at home, having had a few beers in the pub to help him sleep. I’d lie awake listening to the violent nightmares he had night after night.

I couldn’t understand why Dad was so dysfunctional, regimented and disengaged from everything.

In 2008 I started working for the prison service. Through my job I completed Trauma-Informed Training, which made me aware of how post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be debilitating to the strongest of people. I already knew how it can rip a family apart through a lack of understanding and treatment.

Since then I've picked this brave man up from the floor more times than I care to recall, when a flashback has paralysed him. On occasion I’ve had to take him to hospital as his flashbacks can be so severe. I've consoled my mum for hours when she's been at her wit’s end with Dad; she struggles to understand the past 30 years of their marriage and feels like she’s failed him for not understanding his condition better.

In 2012 I went to a family awareness session at Audley Court to find out more about PTSD. I was surrounded and comforted by people and families who had experienced what I had - who'd seen how much damage PTSD can cause. I learnt how the specialist staff at Combat Stress can change the mindset of these veterans and help them to address their traumas.

I don’t think any of us can truly understand what it’s like to be a soldier. The damage PTSD causes when it’s unrecognised is crippling – not only to the person suffering but their family too.

Now I’m proud to say that I am the daughter of a man who fought for his Queen and country. If it weren’t for people like my dad and many others, our lives could be very different. However, what I’m most proud of is that I am the daughter of Mark, a family man that I can turn to in my hour of need – my dad, my friend, my rock. Although I know we still have work to do, I’m so proud of how far he’s come.

To see him today – a man who has had to rebuild his life, to learn how to be a husband, a dad and a human again is courage that none of us can comprehend."